90-day Cult

Because I’m a dumbass trying to better myself, I agreed to join some people on the internet to a 90-day challenge.  They posit that you can break/start a new habit if you do it everyday for 90 days. I have a lot of addictions/bad habits but none that I’ve purposefully started. So this whole ordeal is pretty new to me. For me, it’s not about losing weight or getting fit it’s about committing to something. I’m such a quitter it’s not even funny. I’m always the first person to pull back or am paralyzed with fear to try something new. And if you know me in real life this may seem like a surprise, but it’s true.

rippedThis is exactly what I want to look like after 90 days.

So I decided to sign the dotted line and have committed myself for the next 90 days to the 90DayCult. I will workout for at least 20 minutes everyday, be it holiday, wedding, funeral or even if I get trapped in a mine for 69 days (too soon?)

I worked out for the first time tonight in god knows how long. I went downstairs to my apartments gym (read: elliptical machine my landlord found on the side of the road) and worked hard for a good 20 minutes and 30 seconds. The 30 seconds extra was because I think I blacked out and forgot to stop.

Here’s a play-by-play of my workout:

:00.15 Man, why have I put this off for so long? This isn’t so bad. I can totally do this. 90-days you are my bitch.

:00.23 What? Why is time going so slowly?

:00.46 Okay, I’m pretty sure the time on this machine is wrong. I’ve been on here for at least ten minutes.

:01.30 I really should start preparing my will, I don’t think I’m going to last all 90 days. Tell my dogs I love them.

:02.45 Why the fuck did I agree to this? Has time stopped? God hates me.

:03.57 Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls” just came on my ipod. Fuck you ipod, fuck you and your brilliant sense of irony.

:08.00 My landlord came over from his side of the basement to tell me about the heart monitor built into the elliptical machine. I really hope I don’t throw up on him.

:09.15 A pre-workout cocktail was a bad idea. A really, terrible, awful, bad idea.

:10.23 I wonder if I could read while doing this?

:10.45 Why am I doing this? Honestly, these ladies won’t know if I don’t do this every day…

:12.30 I’m pretty sure I could read during this, that would be fantastic! I would get so much more done if I could dedicate a solid 20 minutes to reading.

:14.47 What the fuck was I thinking? I can’t read when I’m dying. Who the fuck do I blame for this terrible idea?

:16:54 Neck Sweat….ewwwww

:18.00 I just tweeted during this…it took me 3 minutes to try and type, that was a terrible idea, but a really good time distraction.

:19.45 I think my heart just exploded…

I hope tomorrow goes better, I’m glad I completed the first day but frankly that shit was hard.

Wish me luck!

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