I revel in being a DINK (Double-Income, No Kids). I’m really excited if you have kids, are planning on having kids or even enjoy your nieces and nephews. But I have to tell you, I’m unabashedly and overwhelming pleased with the fact that both HHP and I can get completely shit-faced on a Wednesday night and only have to make sure the dogs aren’t eating HHP’s cell phone.

We can be completely spontaneous with our plans. On our recent trip to a wedding in PA we decided to head up to Niagara Falls because we’d never been and mostly, because we could do that. On our road trip we didn’t have to stop unless we had to. We can stay up until 1am playing Dr. Mario and it’s really nice to be a little irresponsible. I almost forgot to mention the frivolous spending?  I’d hate to try and plot out our budget, because as much as I say I bought a baseball bat for “protection” in reality, it was an impulse buy because I felt our household needed a baseball bat. Eating out, clothes, Target, hookers (ok, fine, escorts) you name it we probably have spent money on it.

I have a coworker that hounds me about having kids. She has a 9 month old and thinks babies are the greatest thing to ever come out of a woman’s vagina. It’d be impolite to tell her some of the amazing things I’ve seen in porn so I amuse her ranting but it’s kinda getting on my nerves. I’m being judged because I’m in no mood to procreate which is frankly not cool. And if any of my parent friends think this blog post is a judgement against them, I assure you it isn’t. I’m just a dog rolling around in the awesomeness that is not being a parent.

We’ll end up having a happy little mistake eventually and I’ll grow to not be freaked out by it just like my mother and grandmother were not freaked out by there own children. But I’m in no rush to get pregnant. As I’ve said many times, that’s a solid 2-3 months of no drinking and I’m not ready to make that kind of commitment.

I can pretty much guarantee that any child I have is going to be messed up and I can only hope that the older I get the less therapy the kid is going to need as an adult.


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kaitlin Maud
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 17:21:08



  2. Jodi Schmidt
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 18:06:41

    Your post made me tear up because I miss my bulldog SOOO much. She was my first baby, the other two fur-less babies are pretty cute, but they aren’t very good listeners, and they don’t like to drink with me. I think you should tell the zealous mommy to Fuck-off, or I can tell her that she’ll change her tune once her little wonder can tell her exactly how stupid she is. Esmé told me several years ago I was stupid like a treeless forest, and that pretty much sums up parent hood.


    • Wardegus
      Jul 20, 2011 @ 10:57:44

      I’ve been told my coworker is only pro-baby because she has an easy one. My boss on the other hand had a “terribly sleeper” and strongly advocates for waiting as long as possible to breed.


  3. Ellie Els
    Jul 20, 2011 @ 09:32:08

    I want to be a DINK!


  4. Ellie Els
    Jul 20, 2011 @ 09:34:46

    Also, I have a bully too. Bruce.


  5. Anna
    Jul 20, 2011 @ 20:35:50

    When you compare a baby to everything else that may come out of a vagina, a baby probably is the best thing.


  6. Stephanie Dorman
    Jul 26, 2011 @ 12:14:59

    So I am a DINK, but I got to tell you, I am not getting this party lifestyle. We actually act like an old married couple, and like it that way. We end up spending our money on electronics and projects around the house. LOL


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