DINK

I revel in being a DINK (Double-Income, No Kids). I’m really excited if you have kids, are planning on having kids or even enjoy your nieces and nephews. But I have to tell you, I’m unabashedly and overwhelming pleased with the fact that both HHP and I can get completely shit-faced on a Wednesday night and only have to make sure the dogs aren’t eating HHP’s cell phone.

We can be completely spontaneous with our plans. On our recent trip to a wedding in PA we decided to head up to Niagara Falls because we’d never been and mostly, because we could do that. On our road trip we didn’t have to stop unless we had to. We can stay up until 1am playing Dr. Mario and it’s really nice to be a little irresponsible. I almost forgot to mention the frivolous spending?  I’d hate to try and plot out our budget, because as much as I say I bought a baseball bat for “protection” in reality, it was an impulse buy because I felt our household needed a baseball bat. Eating out, clothes, Target, hookers (ok, fine, escorts) you name it we probably have spent money on it.

I have a coworker that hounds me about having kids. She has a 9 month old and thinks babies are the greatest thing to ever come out of a woman’s vagina. It’d be impolite to tell her some of the amazing things I’ve seen in porn so I amuse her ranting but it’s kinda getting on my nerves. I’m being judged because I’m in no mood to procreate which is frankly not cool. And if any of my parent friends think this blog post is a judgement against them, I assure you it isn’t. I’m just a dog rolling around in the awesomeness that is not being a parent.

We’ll end up having a happy little mistake eventually and I’ll grow to not be freaked out by it just like my mother and grandmother were not freaked out by there own children. But I’m in no rush to get pregnant. As I’ve said many times, that’s a solid 2-3 months of no drinking and I’m not ready to make that kind of commitment.

I can pretty much guarantee that any child I have is going to be messed up and I can only hope that the older I get the less therapy the kid is going to need as an adult.

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